what have i..?

Yesterday, I looked into the face of a person who is sad, and the look  on his face was a reflection of how i feel, which is familiar to me. Juno, the chef at the sushi joint down the street was not his usual, happy, and cheery self. He told me he hasn't talked to his wife in three days. I asked him if they lived together and he said that that they did, but she would just go into the other room and shut the door when he is around. Like the hypocrite that I am, I said, "why don't you just 'try' to talk to her?" Oh my gosh I thought to myself, I felt the anguish of not speaking to the one you love so deeply for days, I have lost part of myself.  i really loved so deeply that i can feel how hollowed out my heart feels at this time and for the past many days. The world seems to look a different shade, a grey cloud hangs around a lot now. 

Yesterday was an almost perfectly beautiful day out in Vancouver, not too hot, and not too cold, but an even temperature. I  went for a drive with some friends to a park off of knight street and 37th avenue. Because Knight street actually peaks when you drive up to 37th avenue the park it becomes one of the higher points in Vancouver over looking mountains and the city. They broke out the hacky sac and hit it around. I never realized what kind of kick ass ninja type footwork skills it takes to keep that ball in the air.  So I tried .. being more flexible and having a strong core helps kick that thing around. As we were playing, we couldn't help but appreciate the view, it was picture perfect. The soccer field rolled down at its northward edge, giving the mountains and view a bottom to its frame, and the sky framed the rest. I guess I had to stop and think about what the heck i'm doing with my life. Hacky sac was done and I felt the need to do the simple things that make me happy and cheer me up when i'm down;  get a haircut and grab some sushi. I drove down to my regular spot at steves barbershop, but he happened to be closed because it was sunday, not deterred I headed to the neighbouring hair salon, it cost me a couple more bucks the cut was fresh so it was all good. So I was off to get some sushi. Ah my favourite neighbourhood sushi spot, sushiwa! I went in expecting the usual hardy greeting by the friendly people there, but the regular waitress, juno's wife gina, was not around and by the look on Juno's face behind the sushi bar hinted that there was something amiss. Selfishly, I thought that I was the only one in the world that had the capacity to be sad. He confirmed that he hadn't spoken to his wife in 3 days..*sigh...  

to be continued.