omg

what a nightmare, i got dragged downtown by a real estate investor friend, his arsty make up artist girl friend and his cousin tyrone, a greek and former cruise ship entertainment director (he seemed gay too), to one of their friends fabulous birthday parties a some oasis gay bar downtown, after being weirded out by all the gayness and drag queens with husky deep voices, we sat on the patio where i ate a chicken and cheese pizza, some peking duck and french fries and ketcup and after having 2 martinis that made my head spin, i left that godforsaken place and made a drunken call to my girlfriend to wish her happy birthday but she hung up so i showed up unwelcomed at her birthday party where she got mad at me and made a fool of myself so her boyfriends were threatening to kick my ass because they didnt know we were still seeing each other so i sped home not remembering any stoplights or turns except for a car on fire at the gas station that i should of been in..i truly hope that wasnt real.. but yet its too crazy to make up that story. i'm gonna die if that the last thing i doooooooooooooo.......... it will be, the irony. =( i dont blame anyone if they hate me forever. i hate myself right now too for being a fool for love, for interferring in the process and letting myself get hurt. *pain. i pray God help me. i need You now